5 Ways to Prevent a Conflict with Your Spouse
Nikah is a very religious relationship and one of Allah’s greatest blessings. It connects the lives of two souls. Mankind’s existence would be impossible without Nikah. However, in our marital relationships, we all face difficulties and challenges.
There are numerous occasions when we become outraged at our spouses. Sometimes it is due to global tensions, and other times it is due to personal complaints from each other. Do you believe our actions of fighting and arguing are justified if Allah made this a necessary Sunnah? It is critical to avoid rage and arguments in order to keep a Nikah ideal and happy.
1. Your priority should be to please Allah. Any Nikah will be successful if both the spouses put their heart and whole to remain committed to Allah.
Nikah is performed to please Allah, and anything you do, such as raising your children or serving your husband, pleases Allah. Also, if you promise to follow the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) Sunnah, you will undoubtedly ignore all the petty fights and unnecessary complaints.
رَبَّنَا أَفْرِغْ عَلَيْنَا صَبْرًا وَثَبِّتْ أَقْدَامَنَا وَانْصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَOur Lord, pour upon us patience and plant firmly our feet and give us victory over the disbelieving people. [2:250
2. If both partners continue to argue, the rage in the fight grows. The consequences of the Nikah are bitter if the couples become angry at the same time. So, when someone else is angry, try to remain calm.
“Rasulullah (SAW) said, control your anger. The same advice was rendered three times.”
3. It is important to remember to keep one’s voice down. In Islam, spouses are only permitted to yell at one another if the house is on fire. Nikah that has to witness yelling and rage between spouses is unhealthy.
Luqman (AS) while offering advice to his son said: and lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey. (Surah Luqman v19)
4. We frequently make the mistake of being stubborn. We fail to control our nafs, which makes it so important to win over our spouse. Allah despises those who continue to speak ruthlessly. So, if there is a disagreement over an opinion, let the spouse win.
Nabi (SAW) said: Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the centre of Jannah. (Ibid pg.412)
5. You are mistaken if you believe that ignoring the confusion is a better option. Sleeping over a fight is never a mature choice. Your first priority should be to resolve the dispute so that both of you can sleep peacefully.
Abu Bakr [RA] resolved his dispute with his wife over-feeding the guests before going to bed. (Bukhari Hadith 602)
In the Nikah, honesty is the foundation of happiness. Everything should be open and honest with your spouse. If you have made a mistake, you must be courageous enough to admit it. Covering up your mistakes and engaging in fights as a result is pointless.
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