Once upon a time, there was a lovely young guy who desired to marry. I had just met a lovely lady at an event with whom I hoped to strike up a discussion. To fulfill his responsibility of care, the young guy approached his future father and requested permission to get to know his daughter better. If the young guy could only answer one question, the father was pleased to comply. The young man was ecstatic and eagerly accepted the terms.
“When is today Fajr?” said the father, smiling. When he heard this, the young man reddened, mumbled his welcome, and swiftly walked away.
The following narrative is based on one that was handed down through frequent Instagram posts and Tumblr postings, but it is worth investigating the profound lesson it delivers. How many of us approach marriage without first fulfilling the fundamental requirements? More precisely, do we have our five daily prayers completed before taking on another person’s responsibilities? Negligence in prayer demonstrates a serious lack of dedication to a higher authority, much alone a spouse.
Marriage is similar to salah (prayer ). an ibadah deed (worship). While this may not be apparent in the way our societies speak about and practice weddings, the Prophet made the link between our deen (religion) and marriage evident when he said:
“Whoever Allah provides with a righteous wife, then Allah has assisted him in half of his religion. Let him be conscious of Allah regarding the second half.”
And what better method to convey God’s awareness than via prayer?
Typical marriage discussions with parents concentrate upon their children’s education, employment, wealth, appearance, and even paternity. While some of these characteristics are crucial to consider, they also demonstrate that our culture does not emphasize religion when it comes to selecting the person with whom we will spend the rest of our lives. The Prophet is reported to have given us great rules to follow when he stated:
“A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty and her religion, so try to get one who is religious so you may be blessed.”
What greater predictor of religion than prayer? Simply said, if someone does not know your prayers, they should not marry.
While this may appear harsh and judgemental, there are various reasons why a lack of a prayer routine should be a barrier to marriage. Prayer teaches self-discipline, time management, communication, task prioritization, and many other principles that are essential components of every successful marriage. In short, a lack of prayer indicates a lack of dedication to these necessary attributes, and hence to marital preparation.
For ladies who desire to marry guys who are aware that they do not value prayer: If someone does not pray, he is already demonstrating that he will not give Allah his due. This implies you have no assurance that he would protect the rights that Allah has given you and directed him to protect. It may initially grant you your rights, but what happens after it ceases? How can you persuade someone that they will be held accountable for their carelessness when they loathe the people who instructed them to protect those rights in the first place?
Some people are well-tuned to their own five daily prayers before contemplating marriage, but do not value that trait while seeking for a possible marriage partner.
Then we find the same people who reject their community’s beliefs about what constitutes a good marital partner (job, wealth, and status) while dismissing the critical role of prayer. Those who have their own prayer kit may dismiss this issue as trivial, but there are sure to be additional troubles that will haunt their relationships as a result of this omission.
For males who wish to marry women who know they do not take their prayers seriously: if she does not grant her due rights in Allah, where is the guarantee that she would fulfill the commitments that Allah has given her as a wife? He gave the order? Do you believe she will be the best mother for your children? Who would teach her children Islam and how to pray if the mother herself is uninterested in such rituals?
And, even if she teaches her children the standards of worship, how will they take those rules seriously if they rarely see the same person praying? Who will be the one to instill a love of the practice in their children’s hearts when they seldom see their wife exemplify the same practise?
Marriage might appear to be a hard and overwhelming endeavor, but establishing prayer is the foundation that, insha’Allah, speeds up the remainder of your selecting process. Some would use the example of a person who prays five times a day but has a bad temper or appears to be unconscious of his own haram (prohibited) conduct. While we could spend hours describing the distinction between reciting prayer and merely “praying,” it’s crucial to remember that humans are flawed.
People have a variety of characteristics and attitudes, and there are various aspects to consider when selecting a partner. However, very few of these elements should take precedence over one’s dedication to prayer. Setting the salah properly entails such profound obligations to oneself and the metaphysical universe that it makes envisioning the commitment to a possible spouse a bit simpler.