The Prophet ﷺ understood love and marriage more than any other human. The perfection of character that he ﷺ displayed specifically within a marriage is greatly beneficial to study to enhance our own marriage. Our deen needs to translate into inner beauty and that inner beauty needs to translate to good character and good actions especially to those closest to us. The pious predecessors said that a man’s true character is how he is like within the home. Outside we are bound by social norms yet inside the walls of our home our true character manifests. Muhammad ﷺ had a happy family life built on mutual understanding and kindness. As diverse as his roles were as a Prophet, governor, military commander and master of mankind he still put in a lot of effort strengthening his relationship with his wives and children.
1. First of all, never raise your voice for any reason at your husband. It’s a sign of disrespect.
2. Don’t expose your husband’s weaknesses to your family and friends. It will bounce back at you. You are each other’s keeper.
3. Try your best to not to use attitudes and moods to communicate to your husband, because you never know how your husband will interpret them.
4. Don’t compare your husband to other men. You’ve no idea what their lifestyles are all about. If you attack his self respect, his love for you may diminish.
5. Never assign anyone to give attention to your husband. People may do everything else but your husband is your own responsibility.
6. Never separate your husband from his mother. Allow him to take care and spend on her.
7. Never blame your husband if he returns home empty-handed. Always say ‘Alhamdulillah’ for everything that Allah blessed you with. Don’t be ungrateful.
8. Never be a squandering wife. Your husband’s sweat is too valuable to squander.
9. Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband’s needs. You must give it to him how he wants it, if there is no valid reason to say no.
10. Don’t make your love dependent on monetary things. Always be with him in his good and bad times.
The Quran says: “Men are in charge of women by what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them, guard.” (4:34)
There is no marriage without respect and loyalty, therefore make sure you are intentionally constructing a house and marriage where there is a lot of respect and loyalty for one another. Respect him by understanding his requirements while he goes to work. Also, make sure he sees all of your hard work for your house and any children you have. Being an advocate for yourself in the marriage is crucial, but don’t provoke unnecessary disputes. Try to make time for the two of you to chat; this will naturally increase respect in the relationship.