The Holy Quran says,
“And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing.” (Surah an-Nur, 24:32)
Once two people introduce themselves or meet and begin “marriage talk” or courtship, they can enter into a relationship that mimics certain aspects of traditional dating. You will talk to get to know each other and this will include phone calls or dinner dates at a restaurant (sometimes with accompanying family members present). You can attend premarital counseling sessions together, you can have dinner with the family. together, and a whole host of other interactions to get to know.
At this stage of their courtship, individuals are likely to interact more informally or casually than they would normally with other members of the opposite sex and become emotionally attached to one another. The biggest differences from traditional contemporary dating that are likely to be present in a Muslim couple testing the waters to see if they believe they are compatible for marriage and if they are attracted to one another is: degree of their emotional attachment, the level and intensity of your conversations and interactions, and lack of physical intimacy (like holding hands, hugging, kissing, etc.).
Does this sound a bit like a Jane Austen novel or movies with a prince or princess set in Once Upon a Time, A Long Long Time Ago? Well, that’s actually perfect.
The Prophet (S) says, “No house has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than through marriage.”
On another occasion the Prophet (S) said,
“The best people of my nation (Ummat) are those who get married and have chosen their wives, and the worst people of my nation are those who have kept away from marriage and are passing their lives as bachelors.”
What exactly do Muslims look for in their spouses while courting? Literally anything and everything, but Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him suggested two qualities to look out for. He said that being “satisfied” with a prospective spouse’s “religion and character” is enough to make him a great spouse [Jami’ at-Tirmidhi 1085]. When these two considerations are placed above everything else, things like age, cultural background, common interests/hobbies, personality traits, chemistry/attraction, and more come into play.
Remarkably, the Qur’an verses and hadiths emphasise the significance of nikah in the lives of Muslims, establishing it as one of the primary obligations and tasks undertaken by a Muslim. It serves as the foundation for a man’s life with his spouse.
Prophet Muhammad SAW (pbuh) said:
“There is no foundation that has been built in Islam more loved by Allah, than marriage.”
He has also said:
“The most disliked of permissible things to Allah is Divorce.” – [Sunan Ibn Majah, 2018]
Before you decide to get married, you need to prepare for the wedding itself. Here are some things you should prepare before marriage:
- Set the right intention that you want to get married to ask Allah’s blessings.
- Here you can find all about marriage. Seek knowledge about marriage by attending seminars or asking a more experienced friend.
- Prepare your Akhlaq to get better, because who you marry,
is the mirror of yours yourself.
- Be financially prepared, especially for men, as you will become the responsible householder for their lives.
- Choose the right partner to marry. Make sure they share the same beliefs and worship the same God as you, Allah SWT.
- Prepare for any problems that may arise in the future.
- For women it’s important to learn how to cook. If a woman is good at cooking, she will be able to serve her husband perfectly.
If you are ready and able to get married, you better not delay!